Need for Speed…In Passing the Healthcare Plan

Well, it’s been a short time since we began developing this new health care plan that will save us all.

The only problem is that it hasn’t been finished yet.

There are a few enlightened souls who want this thing passed here and now, but the unfortunate majority of congressmen have not felt the same way.

Speed is great!

Just ask your sexual partner how great speed is (sorry sweet; health care doesn’t usually happen that fast)!

Now, we need to jump start this initiative so this bill can be signed now!

There are many reasons to speed the process up.

For one, everybody knows that intuition is better than logical thought.

We hear people say, “go with your gut” all the time.

Therefore, logically, whatever we come up with first will be right, and changing it will be bad.

Secondly, quickness means fewer errors.

It’s only when you start second-guessing yourself that errors start occurring.

And what if we do have a few minor errors?

Small things don’t really matter to the larger scheme of things.

Just ask my colleague Caitlin Martin at “Verbatim”, and you’ll find out commas aren’t really that necessary.

Also, if we push this thing through as fast as possible, no one will see errors that are made.

It’s not wrong if it’s not caught.

Speaking of people, they really don’t need to see this bill.

They don’t have time to read anymore, not even stuff that can save them from serious injury like coffee cups.

Besides, politicians are chosen to act for the people and don’t need their support and endorsement (most politicians don’t last past two years anyway).

Lastly, with this being healthcare, we should look to the people that will be affected by this bill the most…
Doctors.

They know the value of speed:

“Pull the band-aid off quickly, and it doesn’t hurt as much.”

“Let’s get this woman into the delivery room; she’s having her baby now (twelve hours later they’re right).”

“Choose which vessel to cut, the red or blue, soon or this aortic valve is gonna blow!”

As you can see, speed is better than waiting and perfecting.

Don’t let Aesop tell you otherwise; rabbits know that speed is key to winning, sex and healthcare.

We don’t need long, slow, correct, meaningful; we need speed!

After all, ten of ten spoiled brats agree: getting stuff now rocks!