The New Power Source

Much has been said about going green and finding a renewable power source with which to power the world.

Oil is disappearing and getting more and more expensive.

Ethanol has used up too much corn, depleting food sources.

Nuclear power blows stuff up.

The sun disappears behind clouds.

The wind doesn’t blow.

I have the solution for the world’s energy needs.

Hamster.

Now hold on, I’m not crazy.

Hamsters enjoy running on wheels in their cages.

This running behavior can be harnessed—by hooking the wheels up to generators, a small amount of electrical energy can be produced.

If one hamster can produce enough energy to power a lamp for one hour, imagine if you had two hamsters. Or one hundred hamsters.

Now imagine power plants where millions of hamsters, all running to power the country.
That’s millions of hours of electricity that doesn’t produce hazardous green house gases, only poop pellets, and these pellets can be used as fertilizer!

They are even an amazingly renewable power source.

One mating pair of hamsters can have approximately three litters per year with around ten baby hamsters per litter.

Now factor in that hamsters live around two years, that’s close to 60 new hamsters to take the place to two parents. That’s 58 new little power sources.

Some of you might be thinking that guinea pigs and other small rodents would work.

This is true. But, since hamsters are smaller and require less food, they are more efficient.

Pretty soon, with millions and millions of hamsters, oil, solar, and wind power will be obsolete.

This would be so much easier, more efficient, and cuter than switching to a different power source.